The Two Bodied Play Of Love

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In the past, when I was more self-centered, I needed you to make me feel good about myself. Then, when I grew more open and became more we-centered, I wanted you to join with me as a team, so we could work together and create a good life for ourselves and with our friends. But now I need your love in a different way.

I still enjoy feeling good with myself, with you, and with our friends. But your love invites me beyond my own thoughts and emotions. Your surrender draws me even deeper than all bodies.

Words cannot describe the unbounded place your love illumines. Here, now, deeper than my own heart yet more open then the farthest reaches I can see, your love awakens an openness of bliss.

This bliss isn’t different from anything. My feet, your smile, the trees are all made of this bliss, this openness, this love. There are no words for that which is not other than any thing, and yet opens deeper than everything, and spreads wider than all. This openness is where your love invites me to awaken. I long to ravish you open to God here. This is the openness we are born of and the openness we die into. This is the love that our two bodies remember through their embrace when we allow our yearning to open without end.

If you have a more feminine sexual essence, your strength is your devotional capacity to open to God in two-bodied form. Yearning open with your lover, you become two who open as one love.

Rather than only being responsible for your own body to open, you become responsible first for opening as love through two bodies with your lover, then for opening as love through all bodies. Love is openness. This openness yearns at the heart of everyone. Through two-bodied practice, you learn to feel and breathe this yearning at everybody’s heart and surrender open as the love that lives the universe.

While making love, you and your man practice opening beyond self-enclosure. Your surrendered yearning draws your man beyond his fearful shells, into you, deeply into your body and heart. He yields his last hold of separation and enters fully into your love, guiding your surrender even as he dissolves with you, opening as one love.

As one love passionately emerging through two bodies, your pleasure is a deep unfolding, wave upon wave of ever deepening surrender, opening out—not to your man, since your man and you are unseparate, but opening out deeper than your yearning and wider than the skies, without end. His love, your love, is aflame from source to endless openness. Your bodies and hearts surrender open to feel and breathe the openness of all hearts, even as orgasmic waves of unbearable bliss continue carrying love wider open.

For days after such lovemaking, your body reverberates with love’s resonance. Your womb is relaxed and full. Your face is soft and bright. Your heart is relaxed open, unshelled, and so you can feel and breathe the love at the heart of everyone.

Together, in two-bodied devotion, you and your man can often open more deeply than your individual habits otherwise allow. Your love demands his, and his love demands yours. Your feminine heart can offer a devotional openness so inviting that your lover has no choice but to come to full presence through his fear and numbness and enter you with utter integrity. His fully present masculine heart can claim you so deeply that you have no choice but to open and surrender as love’s bliss, larger than you would ever do on your own.

Your man’s body of love is a wedge that can open you to God. Your man’s heart is a force that can claim you beyond your self-centered moods. Learning to open with your man prepares you to open in loving communion with everyone’s heart.

As you learn to open with your lover in two-bodied embrace and breathe as one heart, you begin to feel all bodies as your body, all hearts as one heart. Sitting in a room with five friends, you feel and breathe their needs, their tensions, their suffering, and the love that yearns to open through their hearts and bodies. You are naturally moved to serve their openness with yours.

You are not weak for wanting to be claimed open by your lover; you are simply feeling your deepest truth—your heart is here to be claimed by all, offered to all as love’s fullest light and most tender openness of yearning.

Nevertheless, because all bodies die, your intimate relationship is tinged by sadness. Your man will eventually leave you, betray you, ignore you, or die. One way or another, his personal presence will no longer give you what your heart desires most. At some point, you will lose your beloved. Your two-bodied practice of love is therefore offered through a heart raw with love’s impending loss.

Your heart can remain vulnerable and open, willing to suffer the absence of your beloved’s presence without closing and pouting like a child. Spiritual and sexual maturity require that you develop the capacity to feel your heart’s deepest yearning moment by moment, whether or not you are with a lover. Are you allowing yourself to yearn open right now so you can feel your heart’s most divine depth of love? Can you trust your heart’s yearning, softening just as you are, so you can breathe and feel everyone’s heart while giving your love to all?

Your man is a temporary blessing of divine presence, a form of grace. Love’s force is given to you through the form of man, so you can practice breathing and feeling love deep in your yearning heart as you offer your whole body to be opened by love and given as love’s gift.

Even now, in this moment, with or without a man, you can practice breathing deeply and fully. You can feel everyone from your heart and breathe their hearts in and out of yours, and you can practice relaxing your whole body so love can have its way through you.

Especially, the more feminine parts of your body—the places where you feel the most yearning to be touched, entered, caressed, or ravished—those are the parts to practice relaxing open. Your neck, your breasts, your belly, your vagina, your hips, your buttocks, your legs, your feet—open your entire body and especially the most yearning and responsive parts. By relaxing your body and breathing love-energy in and out of every part, your tension eases open and love can flow more fully through you.

You may choose to practice dancing, yoga, or even masturbating as an exercise to help open your heart and body to the flow of love. While you practice your chosen discipline or art of whole-body surrender, always remember to breathe love in and out of your heart, in and out of your entire body, through every pore.

You can allow your body and heart to surrender open so large that you feel and breathe the openness or love that yearns at the heart of everyone. You can magnify your pleasure until your body and heart are forced to open more. Feel how deeply you want to be claimed and taken by love, and how deeply you want to surrender open and offer yourself to be taken.

Your man probably feels your heart mostly through the openness of your body, especially through your offering of sexual devotion. With a wounded heart, even though you have been betrayed in the past and will be again, you can practice to feel and breathe open, alive as love’s yearning. While making love through two bodies, you can practice receiving your man’s penetration so deeply no part of your heart or body is left untaken by love. And you can practice all day, feeling and breathing the yearning at everyone’s heart, while opening your body to be taken by love just as fully.

Dear Lover by David Deida

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