Each Woman Has a Temperature That Can Heal or Irritate You

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Some women are hotter, some are cooler. In general, blonde, light-skinned, Japanese, and Chinese women are cooler. Dark skinned, brunette, red-headed, Korean, and Polynesian women are hotter. Even though a man might choose to remain in a committed intimacy with one woman, his needs for different temperatures of feminine energy may change over time. A hot woman who aroused his passion several years ago may irritate him now. A cooler woman who soothed his heart several years ago may seem tiresome to him now. By understanding how different temperatures of feminine energy may affect him, a man could make more skillful life choices without confusion.

You probably have certain "tastes" in women. You might prefer blondes. Or Asian women. Or perhaps you have a special preference for redheads. Your tastes come from many sources: your early childhood experience, cultural influence, and perhaps even your genetics. But one aspect of "taste" has to do with how a woman affects you with her energetics.

Some women are cooling. Being in their company feels like a cool drink of ice tea on a hot sunny day. You might have referred to a woman, for instance, who is an "icy blonde" or who has "cool blue eyes."

Other women are hot. They are fiery, tempestuous, and quick of temper. You might have spoken of a "fiery red-head" or a "hot-blooded Latina."

Of course, not all redheads or Latinas are hot, nor are all blondes cool. Nevertheless, there is something true enough to be said about a woman's "temperature." Most men have a good intuitive sense of the difference between a woman who is cool and soothing and a woman who is hot and exciting, regardless of how they describe it. And this difference has a lot to do with why men have different tastes for women, and why your taste could change over time.

More than simple psychological preference determines your taste. Energy plays a major role. Sometimes you can be with a beautiful woman who just doesn't do it for you. You can see she is beautiful, you can understand why your friends find her attractive, but she just doesn't suit your taste. Different women offer different kinds of feminine energy. And one of the simplest forms of this difference is the difference between hot and cool feminine energy.

To help understand this, you could look at your relationship with food. Some men thrive on hot Mexican peppers or spicy Szechwan food, while other men are healed by soothing and cooling food, like salads, sweets, or milk. And any man's needs for different kinds of food may change over time. The same is true of his needs for feminine energy.

If you are a particularly easygoing man, perhaps a man who has difficulty getting motivated, then a hot woman is probably better for you. Her fiery nature can heat up your system and get you moving. On the other hand, if you tend to be quick tempered and hot yourself, you might find that a more cooling woman heals you and brings a balance to your body and psyche.

Depending on your health, your lifestyle, your work demands, and your emotional state, you may need different types of energy at different times. The important thing is to know there is a difference, so that you can be conscious of the choice you are making and how it might affect you.

You may begin to doubt your current intimate relationship if you don't understand how your needs for feminine energy change. When your life seems dreary and boring, a more spicy and hot woman will probably appeal to you. She will provide you with the fire you are missing. However, when your life is extremely challenging and you feel burnt out, a hot woman might be too much. You may be more attracted to the soothing gaze and touch of a cool woman.

Imagine you are married to a hot woman. For years you have enjoyed her passion, been amused by her anger, and been delighted by how quickly she responds sexually. Then, your career takes a turn. You begin working with people all day, under a tight deadline. You are dealing with people's emotions and resistance 50 hours a week. You notice that you are sweating most of the day. You are under the gun. Your life has become quite hot, as if you are spending the day in a pressure cooker.

You go home to your hot wife. She is rubbing herself all over you, eager to get it on. You feel like relaxing. You tell her you need a few minutes to take it easy, so she changes into her workout clothes and goes to the spa to flex and pump her supple body. Meanwhile, her best friend comes to visit. You open the door and invite her in the house. She moves so much more slowly than your wife. Her presence seems soothing and relaxing to you, even though she's not the kind of woman you are usually attracted to.

The quality of this woman's voice seems so refreshing. She sees you are tired and, because she's known you for years, she asks if she can rub your shoulders. She puts her hands on your shoulders, and, before she even begins to gently massage you, you feel waves of cool, rejuvenating energy pour into your body. You sigh with relief. After a brief massage she says good-bye. She'll come back and visit your wife another day.

Your wife comes back home, full of energy, and she begins bouncing around the house taking care of things. She yells at you for not telling her friend to stay and wait. Then, seeing your fatigue, she apologizes and begins kissing you passionately. Her hands quickly go to your crotch, but you're still thinking about her friend, remembering how refreshing her energy was, wondering what the heck you're going to do about it.

What you should do about it is this: understand what is happening. You used to really enjoy your wife's spicy temperament, but now that you are boiling all day at work, you need to be balanced by a cooler energy. This doesn't necessarily mean you need to end your marriage. It doesn't necessarily mean you need to have sex with her cool friend. What it means is that you need to find a way to balance your life.

You can change your diet to a more cooling diet. You can keep your body cooler, wearing caps on sunny days, and wearing lighter more breathable clothing. You can take soothing walks around lakes or along rivers, and let the water absorb the heat of your day. Or, you can receive cooling energy directly from a woman, even non-sexually.

You could get a professional massage, for instance, from a woman with cooling energy. Sometimes all you need to do is spend a little time in the same room with a cool woman. In any case, it's important to realize that your needs for different kinds of energy will change throughout your life. It's something you will need to learn how to deal with. It's important that, in the meantime, you don't mistake a changing energy need for a reason to end your marriage. It's also important to know that you can receive energy from different women in entirely non-sexual ways, if you so choose.

In the end, you must make your own choice. When one man's energy needs change and he finds himself getting the energy he needs from the woman in the office next door --the kind of energy that he isn't getting from his wife--then he might end up having an affair, or getting divorced. Another man might communicate his changing energy needs to his wife, and then find that she is more than able to creatively provide him with the flavor of feminine energy that most heals and rejuvenates him.

Don't confuse your energy needs with a commitment in love, though. Energy needs are relatively easy to balance. You can probably get the energy you need from a masseuse or a change in diet. If you react drastically, and decide to leave your wife for a woman whose energy enlivens you more, you may be surprised when, in a few months, your energy needs change again, and you realize you have made a very superficial choice.

You must decide for yourself how to deal with your need for the particular feminine energy that fills your body with life, heals your rough edges, and soothes your warrior spirit. But energetic rejuvenation won't make any fundamental difference unless, at your core, your heart is growing more free, open, and loving. A cool glass of fruit juice, a vacation in Hawaii, or a redhead may temporarily balance your physiology, but only persistent commitment to the practice of love can take you through your fears, through your sense of separateness, and bring you to the absolute ease of being that is your deepest truth. Remember your priority, and decide what you need to do

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

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