You Will Often Want More Than One Woman

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Any man with a masculine sexual essence will desire sexual variety. Even if he loves his intimate partner and is completely committed to her, he will naturally want sexual occasions with other women besides his chosen intimate partner. How a man deals with his desire for other women is up to him. He should know, however, that there is no way to avoid such desires. He should also know that acting on such desires, though temporarily enlivening and exhilarating, often ends up complicating his life far more than the occasion itself is worth.

Even if you are totally committed to your intimate partner in love, you probably think about having sex with other women. Even if you are totally fulfilled by the sex you share with your woman, you probably still desire sex with other women. Your desire for other women is not a reflection of any lack in your intimacy, it is a reflection of your nature as a masculine sexual being.

But this desire is not an excuse for promiscuity, any more than your enjoyment of tv is an excuse for becoming an obese couch potato. Desire springs from many sources, such as your addictions, your biological heritage, your childhood conditioning, and your open heart. To live a life of impeccable integrity, you must discriminate the source of your desire, so you know when to discipline your behavior for everyone's benefit, including yours.

The fact is you probably want to have sex with other women besides your intimate partner; how you respond to this fact is a reflection of your purpose in life. If your purpose is to enjoy physical pleasure no matter the consequences, then you should screw as many women as you want. If your purpose is to be a nice boy and please "mommy," then you should do what makes your woman happy. If your purpose is to liberate yourself and others into love and freedom, then you should do whatever magnifies the love and freedom in your life and in the lives of those whom your actions affect.

It's your call. Just remember that self-discipline is not self-suppression. Suppression is when you resist and fight against your desires, keeping them as buried and unexpressed as possible. Self-discipline is when your highest desires rule your lesser desires, not through resistance, but through loving action grounded in understanding and compassion.

How many women you have sex with is your business. Before you consider more than one, however, it is best to prove your capacity with one. If you can't handle one--if deep communion, rejuvenating passion, and spiritual happiness are not the main features of your present intimacy--then you have not passed the test, and it is best to discipline your desire for other partners, since nobody is likely to be served.

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

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