Inviting Passionate Surrender

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She Invites Me In

I was lying on top of her naked body, and I wanted to feel her open to me. I wanted both of our hearts to open so that our sexing was stripped of separation, and we were raw love sloshing into love, unprotected and trusting. I wanted to let go completely into love with her. But she was closed, and I was closing too.

Then, she looked into my eyes without hiding. I felt her depth. She was no longer protecting herself. Her breasts seemed to soften and allow me closer to her heart. Her opening body drew me in deeply, in spite of my lingering resistance. Her openness now seemed endless, and I was drawn into her surrender.

Her love drew me past my fear into her, and through her into the depths of love itself. Our breaths and bodies merged. I let go of everything into her, and she opened so wide we both disappeared in the brightness of love, like a vortex of water opening into the glistening ocean itself.

What Is Surrender?

The word “surrender” is often interpreted as admitting defeat or being weak. Although this is one way to use the word, we will use it in a different way. Surrendering means letting go of your resistance to the total openness of who you are. It means giving up the tension of the little vortex you believe yourself to be and realizing the deep power of the ocean you truly are. It means to open with no boundaries, emotional or physical, so you ease wide beyond any limiting sense of self you might have.

Surrender means to love without limits. It means to relax your guard so your lover can feel your core—authentic, unhidden, and undefended. Your muscles relax. Your breath becomes full. Your body and heart willingly open to your lover. If you are hurt, then you are hurt, but in any case you practice to remain open and full, like the ocean. Surrender is the doorway to the deepest possible sex.

For Him

To Open, She Needs Your Presence

Nothing turns your woman on more than your real presence. She wants to feel you with her. Not distracted or divided inside, half of you wanting to watch a basketball game on TV and the other half hurrying to have an orgasm. She wants to feel your consciousness free and clear. She wants to feel you feeling her. Then, she can trust you and surrender into open love.

Your woman allows herself to surrender completely only when she feels your present depth. She can feel your mind: is it an agitated puddle or a deep ocean? She can feel your breath: is it shallow and tense or profound with power? She can feel your body: is it uptight and needing a quick ejaculation, or is it relaxed, open, and ready to meld with her body? When your mind, breath, and body are fully present, then you can really be with her, and her heart will be ready to open in trust with your heart.

Practice feeling into your woman with your heart just as you might feel into her with your sex: gently, deeply, lovingly. As your love enters her heart, your woman can practice surrendering to your penetration, to the tangible intensity of your masculine love. Over time, she will learn to trust and open herself more and more to the force of your unwavering love and presence.

For Her

Your Pleasure Helps Him Open

As much as you want your man’s conscious presence, he wants your energetic openness. Your sexual responsiveness—your moans, writhes, and orgasms—attract him out of his dry world of fear into the deep waters of heart-surrender. You are his chosen source of feminine energy, which is the force of life itself. He wants to bathe in the warm sea of your undulations, taste the sweet grapes of your lips and nipples, feel the earthquakes of your uninhibited pleasure.

Your energy and his presence magnetize each other. Your bodily expressed pleasure attracts your man’s full presence. He wants to feel your supple body quivering, heaving, and opening in ways his masculine chunk can only dream. He wants to see the bright light in your eyes. He wants to be awed by your emotional surrender and deep trust.

Of course, you need to feel his trustable presence before you will open your heart and body without guard. It’s a step-by-step process of learning. He learns to be more present, you learn to be more open. Your openness draws him into you more deeply, and you feel him more fully inside of your heart. He relaxes his fears and enters you with more love, and you relax your fears and receive him more fully. Eventually, you both surrender so completely that there is no guarding or holding back at all. Sex becomes unbounded love.

How to Draw Him In

Your man is probably trapped inside his head. You know he loves you, but his body is unable to fully show it. First, practice attracting him from his head into his body with your body. The feminine openness of your body—its capacity to flow with uninhibited and heart-connected pleasure—is irresistibly attractive to your man. Once he is in his body, attract him into his heart with your heart. The openness of your heart—fully expressed through your moans, devotion, and tears—resonates his heart into openness.

It may take some time for his heart and body to open as fully as yours, but, ultimately, he is making love with you to make love. In the meantime, continue attracting him into surrender by astounding him with the depth of your surrender. Swallow him into your heart through your vagina. Allow your limbs to splay pleasure like light radiating from the sun. Soften your belly and chest to receive your man’s body into yours. Say your love in gasps of pleasure. Through your body, breath, and emotion, show him how deeply you trust him. If he is a good man, he will learn to meet the fullness of your trust with the depth of his presence. Meanwhile, your open heart is its own reward.

Finding God through Sex by David Deida

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