A Lovers Way

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by Amara Charles

Most people think being a good lover is determined by what happens under the covers when you turn out the lights. This often brief episode, however, is such a small part of what it means to walk through the world in a lover's way.

Have you ever noticed that some people are like flowering gardens you just can't help wanting to walk into? Have you ever noticed how, on a good day, just about anyone who crosses your path is somehow interesting? Filled with the glow of some happy experience, even what would usually turn you off now amuses you. Like the lover, consumed by joy, everything that appears tastes good feels good and seems to bestow the sweet favors of existence just for you.

We are either walking around in this state or we are scrounging around hoping to find it. The problem of course is how to keep it up, or how to find joy if it's missing. How does one walk through life as a lover- enjoying whatever or who ever shows up around you? The first thing is to drop waiting. Quit waiting for anyone or anything in particular to show up. Check out what is ever is right is front of you at the moment..

But most of us forget the laws of love. The laws of love? How come I didn't get an instruction guide? Boundless expansive flowing existence continuously becoming in its infinite possibility-a lover walks with this awareness in her way.

Instead we hurry, get irritated, or jolted off course for just about any reason. We become distracted and lose connection with this continuous flow of existence and imagine we are separate. The way home is simply to make a genuine connection with someone or something that is around you right now. This can be as simple as a heartfelt pause, a gentle look into a friend's eye, or an instant of turning a huge irritation into a small thing.

What if we get turned-down rejected, or our boss is in a bad mood? And what if this bad mood lasts for a couple of years? We think we have to be in love, have a passionate affair. Sometimes having a long discussion can untangle the mess. Usually however there is a much quicker and far easier way. How about praising our friend, genuinely giving a moment of solace to a weary traveler?

A friend of mine just called today and told me that the roof of his house literally caved in on top of his girlfriend's car (luckily she was not in it) and that the repair of the roof would cost more than his house is worth. Oftentimes existence has to knock loudly to get our undivided attention. Perhaps we are ignoring our home, not to mention our girlfriend, our husband, our car or maybe a few other things.

I told him that perhaps all we are for one another is a hand in this darkness and that maybe all we can say to one another "come over here with me where there is a little more light." If your life has been blissful today, trust that existence will be more beautiful and more blissful tomorrow. Do not horde your good fortune out of fear it will disappear. As your trust grows, existence grows more and more generous towards you. As you walk through your daily life as a lover, more love will shower on you. Soon it will rain with moments waiting for you to receive the blessings of a kind hand. Be ready to give your gift of heartfelt openness. Don't wait for somebody else to make the first move-if it seems impossible to offer a sincere gesture of generosity then all the more reason to do so.

In beauty,


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