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If you have a lover whom you trust, look into his or her eyes until you feel each other’s love fully, as if your hearts were entirely connected. With your right hand, sexually stimulate your lover, as your lover sexually stimulates you. When you feel your lover’s love lessening—perhaps he or she becomes distracted or self-absorbed—then lift your left hand as a signal.

When you feel love diminish in your lover’s gaze-from-the-heart, then raise your left hand. At this signal, you and your lover remove physical contact until full love-connection is reestablished through your mutual gaze. Then, when undiminished love is once again felt by both of you, lower your left hand.

Of course, your lover may also raise his or her left hand when the love-connection between you is felt to diminish. Both of you remain true to your agreement to remove physical contact until love comes back to felt-fullness through your deep heart-gazing, and then the left hand is lowered.

When you get good at sexually stimulating each other, maintaining a gaze of full love, and feeling connected heart to heart, then you are ready for the next step.

Start by adding dirty words. If saying dirty words causes the felt love-connection to diminish, then your or your lover’s left hand is raised, and you stop talking and touching. When love is re-established—when you both can feel your hearts connected and your gaze is deep into each other’s open soul—then continue touching and talking dirty.

Practice this until you can say anything, even swear at each other, and still maintain deep heart-connection and humor.

When you can do this, add a further step: practice tussling. Perhaps you start by pinching each other, tickling, or wrestling. Maintain deep heart-gazing even while tussling. Each of you can raise your left hand anytime you feel love diminish, whereupon you stop all actions and remove physical contact.

Resume tussling when, through gazing into each other’s soul, you both trust what you feel.

In real life, you can raise your left hand with your lover at any time to indicate that it’s time to connect deeper, even in the middle of heated arguments, or when either of you genuinely feels hurt. By doing so, you can learn to instantly re-establish a deep heart-to-heart connection with your lover simply through gazing, opening, and feeling each other’s love.

Start by playing at sexual stimulation, swearing, and tussling, while giving feedback by raising your left hand when feeling a disconnection between your hearts. Through this process, you will learn to re-connect through love’s deep gaze, even in the course of a sudden and real altercation, the kind that might usually take hours, or even days, to resolve.

You can always talk about it later if you want. The way of instant loving is really this fast, cheap, and nasty, if you are willing to feel through your emotional resistances as well as your lover’s, and allow your otherwise recoiling hearts to connect and relax in trust.

Instant Enlightenment by David Deida

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