Transforming Sex Into Love by Barry Long

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All love, fundamentally, is the love of That, the love of God, the love of It, that is behind everything, all existence. All love is that. You have that love inside of you because you came out of that place, that vastness, into conception in some woman’s womb. And to that place you – your intelligence and consciousness – will return.

You have that love inside of you, where you came from, where there are no problems, no movement, no bodies, where there is no necessity for separation because all is one. You came out of that reality and into the rubbery matter of flesh. You pass through this flesh for seventy or eighty years and then the consciousness you are returns back into that place before conception. Knowledge of that love is deep inside you, deep inside your body, underneath your self. You can only love anything to the degree that you have a knowledge of this original love within you; the love of being one and not being many. The external world is there as a reflection, as a reflector of what we are. So, when you love an object your love reflects off that object. It doesn’t reflect off this one, or that one, somehow or other you resonate to that particular object there. We are talking of resonance; an impulse comes from within you and reflects off that object and then it resonates back to you and you say, ‘I am attracted to that,’ or, ‘I love that’. I resonate off that reflection and that’s how I know. It reminds me in some way or other of whence I came. But it’s got to come through my self; the knowledge of God, or beauty, or anything, has to come through my self.

Often my self is a resistance, or my self translates beauty – wherever it concerns the opposite sex – into sex. Sex, although it is love, has a selfishness in it – the desire to possess the other – because all men in the sexual drive want to possess the woman. That is man’s sexual drive. Really that drive should be the drive to master my self and transform my sexual drive, which I am born with and cannot help, into love: a massive undertaking indeed. Now, man is driving into woman, so woman, where I come from, is the hope of it all. She is the only one that can stop man’s sexual drive. Only she can stop him and say, ‘Wait, wait, we’re getting carried away here! We’re forgetting the love here! We’re getting tied up in the old sexual drive. Is it going to make me peaceful, contented, smiling and full with love?’

Well, of course it’s not. Sex never did that to anyone except straight after when you feel great. And the demonstration of that is when you first met your lover and how you came together. The two bodies are made by God and the self is pushed right down by both parties, and bodies can make beautiful love together, where there is no self. They make beautiful love and that goes on for say, four weeks, five weeks, six weeks, perhaps. Then up comes the wrong word from one party or the other and then the other party comes up defensively and they start having their first discussion, or their first argument. That means the self has now risen and they are growing apart and they will make love less. They become familiar and casual and they will compromise with each other because that is what mum and dad did, and that is what the whole world does. We compromise. Whereas in love you say, ‘No. No compromise! Where has it gone? Where has it gone? Why has it gone?’ That’s love. ‘Why has it gone?’ Are you going to accept that it has to go? Well, I say that it doesn’t have to go.

Barry Long

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